17 Real-Life Wedding Objection Stories That Are Straight-Up Bonkers
On Jan. 1, Reddit user _AhappyTeddyBear asked people who’ve “witnessed a wedding objection during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace‘ portion” to share their stories. Here are 17 of the best ones:
11. The adamant aunt:
At my cousin’s wedding during the exchanging of vows, my aunt shouted, “Wasn’t there supposed to be a part where you could object?”
12. The cattle call:
My wedding was at my grandmother’s house out in the country next to a cattle farm. The cows hadn’t made a peep until the objection line, when one finally let out a “Moo!” We had a laugh and then carried on.
13. The monster-in-law:
About five years ago, I went to a co-worker’s very fancy wedding. The bride and groom were at the altar, smiling and looking deep into each other’s eyes, when the attendees were told to speak now or forever hold their peace. I got anxious like I always do, despite the fact that nothing ever happens. But right as soon as my anxiousness had faded away, the bride’s mother stood up and objected, blurting some shit about how she didn’t want to continue their family with “a man like him,” meaning the groom. The bride-to-be ran off crying, and the wedding went fucking silent. The bride’s dad took the mom and ran after the bride. The groom, on the other hand, stood there awkwardly until the groomsmen took him away. I had to leave because it was too weird. Apparently the reception went on, though they did not get married that day. They wound up having a private ceremony and are still happily married.
14. The clever ruse:
At a wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons. By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and their family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!
15. The real-life Jerry Springer episode:
My wife once dragged me to a wedding that I didn’t want to go to, but I’m forever grateful she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. It was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. The bride’s lover objected and yelled, “I’ll be god-damned if I’m gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of shit!” The deranged man proceeded to come at the groom, threatening to shoot him if he didn’t give her up. It wasn’t a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people, but every single one of them went screaming and running, and maybe two people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife’s hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
16. The experimental objection:
I went to my older brother’s wedding when I was a kid, and right before the “speak now” portion was done, little 5-year-old me said, “I object!” Everyone turned to me, and I was dead silent because I didn’t know what would happen. My dad asked me, “Well, why do you object?” and I said, “I didn’t know what would happen if I did,” and I was promptly seated.
17. The 1-year-old psychic:
I was a year old when my mom married my stepdad. During the objection portion, I yelled, “STOP!” but no one listened. They divorced six years later. I told you, mom. I fucking told you.
Have you witnessed a wedding objection? Share your story in the comments below!
Editor’s note: Responses have been edited for length and clarity.