18 Hilariously Devastating Burns That Will Make You Go, “Oooooh!”

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share the most devastating burns they ever heard, and these were the ones that had us going, “Ooooooooh!”:

1. “I was watching a true crime show with my mother when I said, ‘These shows are so sad. The victims always seem like such beautiful, wonderful people.’ My mom said, ‘Well, I guess you’re safe, then.'”

—Melanie Schneiderman, Facebook

2. “Our friend’s college posted a photo of our friend at the library on their official Instagram. His mom reposted it to Facebook saying, ‘So he does know where the library is!’”

15. “At daycare drop off two moms were arguing about parking in front of the door. One mom told the other, ‘It’s a fire hazard to park there!’ The other pointed at her and said, ‘Well, it’s a hazard to look like that!’”


16. One day during class I was in a cheeky mood and held up a blank piece of paper to my friend and said, ‘I bet this is what your mind looks like.’ Without skipping a beat she replied, ‘Oh, I thought it was the list of people who actually love you.’”



17. “At work my boss asked, ‘Can I ask a stupid question?’ My reply? ‘Better than anybody here.’ Luckily my boss had a sense of humor!”


18. “A girl once said she wanted to be a trophy wife. My friend said, ‘All you could be is a participation trophy wife.’”


Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.

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